It may appear simple that what’s there in managing relationships, it’s easy. Well, managing relationships is one of the toughest tasks, be it in personal life or professionally. This is complex and thus needs to be dealt with effectively, primarily because, every individual is different, in their thoughts, their way of living, their life philosophies and multiple other variables, which makes them all, pretty complex. Further, everyone has their interests, desires, likes and dislikes and other dynamic factors, thus making it all, too many components and thus, too complex.
Even when people get along well, stress and daily life can cause conflicts that seem difficult or impossible to resolve. Relationship counselling can help people in these challenging situations to work through their problems, move beyond them and be better partners overall.
What Is Relationship Counselling or Marriage Counselling?
Relationship counselling is also known as couples counselling, couples therapy or Marriage Counselling. A type of psychotherapy that focuses on helping people improve their overall relationships. By working with a therapist, couples can explore issues in their relationship, work on their communication, improve interactions and resolve conflicts.
It is perceived that relationship counselling is often used to address problems or when conflict starts to occur between partners. On the contrary, relationship counselling is also helpful at any stage of a relationship, to strengthen relationships, making them healthier, and improving communication, connection and intimacy.
When to seek Relationship Counselling or marriage counselling?
Well, people generally start to think of meeting up with a Counsellor only when things go south in their relationship when things have already escalated to the peak, when partners have already distanced mentally and otherwise from full engagement, when commitment is at its lowest level or when thoughts of separation has already started to take roots. But that is often too little, too late.
Relationship counselling or therapy should begin as soon as the problems get in the way of your daily life and it seems, you both have not been able to resolve it. It is fine if you can manage it and can alter relationship issues to make it better. However, when you think, you have tried your best and things are not working out between you both, then that is the time to reach out for relationship counselling.
It is prudent, you speak with a relationship or marriage counsellor, when:
- You have accumulated, one or more unsolved issues or concerns
- Maybe an event has shaken up your daily life and has not been discussed
- There is no agreement on any point, whatsoever
- It becomes difficult to communicate, as it always leads to arguments or altercations
- There is withdrawal, criticism or contempt in your interactions
- You have trouble making decisions together, irrespective
- Either of you have experienced infidelity, addiction or abuse
- Due to no change in habits, which causes a lot of annoyance among partners
- When you experience an adverse impact of your relationship on your kids and overall home environment
- When you wish to have a deep and stronger relationship
Many times, there is a lot of delay in seeking help on relationship matters. This delay of time lets problems fester; thus, making it work more difficult. Instead, it is best to acknowledge problems early and seek counselling as soon as possible.
Relationship counsellor or Marriage counsellor can be approached for:
Premarital Counselling
Premarital counselling is a type of relationship counselling or therapy that helps prepare couples to enter into a long-term commitment. This type of counselling focuses on helping couples understand each other, develop a strong and healthy relationship before marriage and identify any potential problems that might lead to issues down the road.
Some of the relationship issues that might be addressed during premarital counselling include:
- Communication
- Life direction
- Expectations from each other
- Career and finances
- Roles and responsibilities
- Family relationships
- Parenting choices, about children and parenting style
- Sex and affection
- Values and beliefs
This type of relationship counselling can be a good way to establish realistic expectations and develop healthy communication skills that will set marriage to a good start.
Who is a relationship Counsellor, marriage counsellor or therapist
Psychologists, Counsellors, Therapists, and licensed clinical social workers are the ones who can be approached for relationship Counselling. Feels Good Counsellors, Psychologists and Therapists are experts in managing relationship counselling. At times, people also use Marriage Counselling as a term for the same.
How does marriage counselling or relationship counselling help:
The Psychologist or the Counsellor would first like to listen to both the partners in adequate time, so that they can express what they feel being with each other and how things have become, between them. Discussion may start with questions and answers by the Counsellor to give the conversation a direction in a structured manner and as appropriate.
The first few sessions will focus on your history as an individual and post getting into a relationship and the concerns you are looking forward to getting taken care of. Be prepared to answer questions about your relationship, your parents, your childhood and relationship experiences before your current one. Your Counsellor may want to spend some time talking to everyone together and to each partner, separately.
The session or therapy depends on the way your Counsellor finds most suitable for you both and of course with your consent.
Few other scenarios, when you may seek marriage or relationship counselling:
- Poor communication between the couple
- Do not feel comfortable sharing things with your partner, any more
- Trust is broken
- Something feels wrong, but you're not sure what or why
- Frequent arguments
- Unable to resolve even simple conflicts, at the end of the day
- No longer find that connection between each other, neither mental nor emotional
- You feel stuck in bad patterns
- Loss of interest in your partner
- No intimacy exists
How to make the best use of counselling sessions?
Though the partners wish to seek help from their counsellors and psychologists, then they are just the facilitators and they cannot fix things for you, in totality. Instead, once having understood how things are, why situations are, and the way they exist, then comes the task of partners to put in their best to make their relationship work.
After sessions, it is not about the Counsellor, instead the success depends upon the couples, who with their willingness and commitment can make this relationship work. There are many things you can do to make your relationship counselling, more effective.
Be Candid
Try not to hide facts from your Counsellor. It is possible and natural to filter and communicate for fear of being judged. But then, this won’t help as you both would be on a different page and you may find you did not get what you had met the Counsellor for. Please remember, a counsellor's job is to assist you and not to judge you. Try to be candid in your communication with your Counsellor.
Counselling sessions might be uncomfortable
Counselling sessions may cause discomfort, as you may discover new truths about yourself and your partner and not all of them are going to be good. Working on self requires you to acknowledge the truth as you discover, along the way and work on them all to make the relationship work. You will have to do your bit as the Counsellor facilitates you.
Be open
Listening to your partner and the Counsellor is imperative. Listening means, you acknowledge what the other person is saying, and the partner in return feels good that you acknowledged his point of view. Listening also makes you look at the speaker’s point of view and maybe that is something you never thought of. On the contrary, remaining on the defensive and trying to reply to everything that others bring up about your behaviour is only going to make things more difficult for everyone. Ultimately, what do you want, you want things to get sorted out; thus, the intent should exist to listen and do the needful.
In couples counselling, positive results depend on the couple's genuine willingness and dedication to the process. Relationship counselling is generally held once a week. Relationship counselling is often short-term, though healing a relationship may take more time. Ultimately, couples therapy will continue for as long as the couple is committed to completing their sessions or until they reach a resolution. Couples counselling is available for married or unmarried people in all kinds of relationships. Counselling usually includes both partners, but there are occasions when a marriage counsellor may work with only one person in a relationship.
If you have been thinking about relationship counselling online marriage counselling online or relationship counselling in Gurgaon, then please get in touch with Edha for online counselling sessions. At Edha, you shall find online Psychologists to assist you.
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